i havent had enough i guess... i just need to be more patient....

Life has never been this bad to me… I never felt so bad and damn depress… sometimes, we should know that things will never happen as what we think and hope. I think I had enough, but once I try to think again, its only the beginning, the beginning of the hardest journey of my life, the path that I choose, the road that I took… had bring me to this part of my life….

Being very stupid not thinking wisely, hoping that everything will be so much fun and enjoying, but the fact is im not happy at all.. im scared, im numb, I lost in the world of my own.. The world that I created, now it’s a nightmare to me… there is nobody to talk to, nobody to help me.. it’s only me, myself and i… trying hard to push myself…

I cant wait to leave, I cant wait to get a new life…. I am desperately wanna run away… run the fast as I can, to the place that might be give me some peace.. some light… I just wish that I am strong enough to stay and facing this moment… moment of life……

At this point of time, I just pay to god, for my safety, for my strength, for me to be strong and wise thinker, for something good. And pray for a better life…… I believe that god will show me the way….

For my mum, love you so much, I will never let you know that ur girl is having the tough time. I now that deep inside me, I have you…

For my sistas, thanx for understand and sharing my prob… I love you…..

For my frens….. thank you for giving me support… to yall I rely on…..

For somebody out there, somewhere somehow, wishes that you will always be fine, may happiness be with you always….

Aku mang xpueh ati dgn aku sndri r…. de bpe ari xupdate blog aku…huhu…. Ape r malas sgt aku ni… mang kalo malas tu datang, aku xleh nk elak da…wlupun aku ni agak pakar dalam bab elak ngelak ni….. hari ni………

Aduh secara tetiba aku dgr org close sale, panas ati..aku da bberapa purnama xclose sales..rasa mcm shit n keji gile diri ku ini… tiada berkemampuan tok close sales… hampagas,hampas kelapa,dan segala perkataan yg bkaitan dgnnyer…. Hate me for that…… how am I going to close sale… aku ader bersepah profile, tp aku mcm xmpu nk wat job matching… huhu

Enough bout that….. arini aku nk upload pic aku mamam kat jogoya ari tu… huhu… korang tgok r…..

muke2 yang kebuloran tp masih mampu cntrol cun n kacak..wekkk!!

inilah bilik dimana kami telah dikuarantinkan... ahaks, kanibal xleh cmpor ngan org...makan jejauh...

sebelum acara bermula...masih mampu mngawal diri...

tp bile da dpt mkanan.. hampeh blake... lihat aku yg tgah rakus....
dan aku lg yg penuh mkanan dlm molot.....

ha...begitulah die gambar2 yg aku dpt share dgn kenkoorang... uhuk...jap g smbung k... nk pg blog hunting jap... duluan...

yang mane satu korang?

---------------JANUARY BABY--------------------
Pretty/handsome. Loves to dress up. Easily bored.Fussy. Seldom shows emotions. Takes time toRecover when hurt. Sensitive. Down-to-Earth.Stubborn. Repost this in 5 mins and you will meetSomeone new in 8 days that will perfectly balanceYour personality.
--------------FEBRUARY BABY --------------------
Abstract thoughts. Loves reality and abstract.Intelligent and clever. Changing personality.Attractive. Sexiest out of everyone.Temperamental. Quiet, shy and humble. HonestAnd loyal. Determined to reach goals. LovesFreedom. Rebellious when restricted. LovesAggressiveness. Too sensitive and easily hurt.Gets angry really easily but does not show it.Dislikes unnecessary things. Loves making friendsBut rarely shows it. Horny. Daring and stubborn.Ambitious. Realizing dreams and hopes. Sharp.Loves entertainment and leisure. Romantic on theInside not outside. Superstitious and ludicrous.Spendthrift. Tries to learn to show emotions.Repost this in 5 mins and you will talk to someoneNew and realize that you are a perfect match.
-----------------MARCH BABY --------------------
Attractive personality. Sexy. Affectionate Shy andReserved. Secretive. Naturally honest, generousAnd sympathetic. Loves peace and serenity.Sensitive to others. Great kisser. Easily angered.Trustworthy. Appreciative and returns kindness.Hardly shows emotions. Tends to bottle upFeelings. Observant and assesses others.If youRepost this in the next 5 mins, you will meet yourNew love in 8 days.
------------------APRIL BABY -------------------
Suave and compromising. Funny and humorous.Stubborn. Very talkative. Calm and cool. Kind andSympathetic. Concerned and detailed. Loyal. DoesWork well with others. Very confident. Sensitive.Positive Attitude. Thinking generous. GoodMemory. Clever and knowledgeable. Loves to lookFor information. Able to cheer everyone up and/orMake them laugh. Able to motivate oneself andOthers. Understanding. Fun to be around.Outgoing. Hyper. Bubbly personality. Secretive.Boy/girl crazy. Loves sports, music, leisure andTraveling. Systematic. Hot but has brains. If youRepost this in 5 mins, a Cutie that's caught your eyeWill introduce themselves and you will realize thatYou are very much alike in the next 2 day s.
-----------------MAY BABY -----------------
Stubborn and hard-hearted. Strong-willed andHighly motivated. Sharp thoughts. Easily angered.Attracts others and loves attention. Deep feelings.Beautiful physically and mentally. Firm Standpoint.Needs no motivation. Shy towards opposite sex.Easily consoled. Systematic (left brain). Loves toDream. Strong clairvoyance. Understanding.Sickness usually in the ear and neck. GoodImagination. Good physical. Weak breathing. LovesLiterature and the arts. Loves traveling. DislikeBeing at home. Restless. Not having many children.Hardworking. High spirited. If you repost this in theNext 5 minutes, you will become close to someoneYou do not speak to much in the next 4 days.
---------------JUNE BABY -------------
You've got the best personality and are anAbsolute pleasure to be around. You love to makeNew friends and be outgoing. You are a great flirtAnd more than likely have an a very attractivePartner. A wicked hottie. It is also more than likelyThat you have a massive record collection. YouHave a great choice in films, and may one dayBecome a famous actor/actress yourself - heck,You've got the looks for it!!! IN the next 6 days youWill meet someone that may possibly becomeOne of your closest friends, if you repost this in 5 minutes.
----------------JULY BABY --------------
Fun to be with. Secretive. Difficult to fathom and toBe understood. Quiet unless excited or tensed.Takes pride in oneself. Has reputation. EasilyConsoled. Honest. Concerned about people'sFeelings. Tactful. Friendly. Approachable.Emotional temperamental and unpredictable.Easily hurt. Witty and sparkly.Spazzy at times.Not revengeful. Forgiving but never forgets.Dislikes nonsensical and unnecessary things.Guides others physically and mentally. SensitiveAnd forms impressions carefully. Caring andLoving. Treats others equally. Strong sense ofSympathy. Wary and sharp. Judges peopleThrough observations. Hardworking. No difficultiesIn studying. Loves to be with friends Always broodsAbout the past an d the old friends. Waits forFriends. Ne ver looks for friends. Not aggressiveUnless provoked. Loves to be loved. Easily hurtBut takes long to recover. Repost this in the next 5 mins and your reputation will boost someway in the next 12 days
----------------AUGUST BABY ---------------
outgoing personality. takes risks. feeds onattention. no self control. kind hearted. selfconfident. loud and boisterous. VERY revengeful.easy to get along with and talk to. has an 'everything's peachy' attitude. likes talking and singing.loves music. daydreamer. easily distracted. Hatesnot being trusted. BIG imagination. loves to beloved. hates studying. in need of 'that someone'.longs for freedom. rebellious when withheld orrestricted. lives by 'no pain no gain' caring.always a suspect. playful. mysterious. 'charming'or 'beautiful' to everyone. stubborn. curious.independent. strong willed. a fighter. repost in 5mins and you will meet the love of your lifesometime next month.
-------------SEPTEMBER BABY ---------------
Active and dynamic. Decisive and haste but tendsto regret. Attractive and affectionate to oneself.Strong mentality. Loves attention. Diplomatic.Consoling, friendly and solves people's problems.Brave and fearless. Adventurous. Loving andcaring. Suave and generous. Usually you havemany friends. Enjoys to make love. Emotional.Stubborn. Hasty. Good memory. Moving, motivatesoneself and others. Loves to travel and explore.Sometimes sexy in a way that only their lover canunderstand. if you do not repost this in the next 5mins, someone very close to you will become madat you in the next 8 days.
---------------OCTOBER BABY -------------------
Loves to chat. Loves those who love them. Lovesto takes things at the centre. Inner and physicalbeauty. Lies but doesn't pretend. Gets angryoften. Treats friends importantly. Brave andfearless. Always making friends. Easily hurt butrecovers easily. Daydreamer. Opinionated. Doesnot care to control emotions. Unpredictable.Extremely smart, but definitely the hottest ANDsexiest of them all. repost this in 5 mins or you willnot meet the love of your life for 10 years.
----------------NOVEMBER BABY --------------------
Trustworthy and loyal. Very passionate anddangerous. Wild at times. Knows how to have fun.Sexy and mysterious. Everyone is drawn towardsyour inner and outer beauty and independentpersonality. Playful, but secretive. Very emotionaland temperamental sometimes. Meets new peopleeasily and very social in a group. Fearless andindependent. Can hold their own. Stands out in acrowd. Essentially very smart. Usually, thegreatest men are born in this month. If you everbegin a relationship with someone from this month,hold on to them because their one of a kind.
---------------DECEMBER BABY ---------------
This straight-up means ur the most good-lookingperson possible... better than all of these othermonths! Loyal and generous. Patriotic. Competitivein everything. Active in games and interactions.Impatient and hasty. Ambitious. Influential inorganizations. Fun to be with. Easy to talk to,though hard to understand. Thinks far with vision,yet complicated to know. Easily influenced bykindness. Polite and soft-spoken. Having lots ofideas. Sensitive. Active mind. Hesitating, tends todelay. Choosy and always wants the best.Temperamental. Funny and humorous. Loves tojoke. Good debating skills. Has that someonealways on his/her mind. Talkative. Daydreamer.Friendly . Knows how to make friends. Abiding.Able to show character. one guy/girl kind ofperson. Loveable. Easily hurt. Prone to gettingcolds. loves music.

holiday..... sunday

10th Nov

Ola, holiday da pon berakhir, doin nuttin, just spent my day at home… sleeping(im very good at doing it you know)..huu… curik mase sket nk mem’blog’… wat happened for the past 2 days? I ate charkuewtiaw lg!! for 2 days in a rows….huhu…. we went to bangsar once again and dis time I bru rase yg mang agak sedap r, bukan agak,tapi memang sedap pon charkuewtiow die… trase gak r kicap die… huhu..ntah bpe liter die tumpahkan, aku pon xtaw…..

Last sturday, we went to Kenny rogers, haha mlepas gak aku nk mamam kt Kenny, asik ngidam je, dpt gak… rndu seyh nk makan ayam die,tp aku xbis pon…pastu kne bebel ngan kawan aku, Kelly, ader g yg bebel, Mr Roz!!.. huhu nama bru aku kasi.. mr roz.. die ader exhibition kt mid ari 2, dpt r jpe…byk gak borak,tp die agak moody ari tu, masalah bersarang di rangka otak die… bagiku xderla seberat mane, tp sbnarnya bg orang yg xmhadapi, mang r xkan taw n buleh ckp sesuke jantung aku, tp still im a gud listener k… seldom give advice sbb ape yg aku practice is different from other people.. mebi ader gak yg pk macm aku… pd aku, xgune pon bg nsihat belambak2 kt org yg ader prob coz die mang xkan amik pusing pon, kalo amek pon die amek sket jer r….. so aku pon bese bg sesikit jer r… ape yg aku ckp? YOU ARE STILL YOUNG, LOTSA THINGS COMING YOUR WAY, HIDOP UNTUK DRI SNDRI BUKAN UNTUK ORG LAIN WAHAI BRO KU…. ITS NOT THE END OF LIFE…. WAKE UP!!

Eceh, best x ayat 2… basically ayat 2 ayat standars je, besepah2 bley jmpe…. And then after, we tot on going 4 movie, but since Mr Roz is tired like crazy, we all think of balik sajer….. n then I took komuter to kepong sentral(ape kejadahnyer ke kepong sentral, sejak bile aku dok area sne??) huhu… g umah my teddy lorr… as always, every weekend aku spent time kat sne…. Umah my aunty, hidop lbeh indah dan berseri di samping my teddy… huu….. but sumtin sh** happened in da train, aku tertumpahkan Ribena yg aku beli dgn harge 2.10, abis bju bru gua… cilakak toi… bikin panas jer… abis bju haku taw dak…tension!! Tp da terang2 bukan slah org len, aku nk mrah kat sape… huargh…..



FRIDAY - 7th nov

8.05 a.m

Bermula balik episode xbest dlm idop aku ari2… dlm sejam lbeh g kne buat telemarketing, aku rase mcm cipan kne gelek bulldozer je ble kne buat mda 2.. hate it… so much hate it…

8.40 am

Bru pas print da company list dat aku kne kol ari ni… benci tol… k r, aku xmaw ckp sal hal ni..

Smalm pas bis keje, aku g lpak kat bangsr, g pkena charkueytiaw, kbarnyer sedap sesangat tahap mjilat pinggan….. tp from my opinion, I think da one in sri dmansara is way much more better.. ya la, len org len opinion kan…. Hmm… per g ek smalam, ujan time aku bis keje, ujan agak malu2 r yang membolehkan aku berjalan seprti biase ke klcc.. aku mang da xnk gune monorel g, bukan sebab service kureng ke pe, just nk execise n jimat duit..ahaks.. g pon I think it is nice to walk everyday, at least aku leh cuci mate sket, membenarkan mata aku yg ari3 ngadap pc ni enjoy,mnikmati pandangan alam sekililing aku yang smemangnye xder prubahan pon, tp aku tetap nk tgok… smpai kt KLCC, then aku pasang niat nk g bli jeans bru, time nk try, xmuat le plak..opps,gmuknyer aku… mtk size len, xder lak..last2, aku pon blah je r… nk buat pe tgu g, konpom2 je kalo aku tgu smpai shop tu totop pon aku tetap xkan dpt size yg aku nk… aku trus blah r ke kerete yg sdang menunggu aku dgn setianya….. wa, puas ati dpt naip ni… k r, nk buat keje… later k..

12.05 pm

Lunch.. waiting for Kelly, wanna go lot 10, da agak berkurun gak r x g mamam sne, tbe2 ari ni mcm mengidam..huhuhu…… busan tol r… xder mud r nk keje, Friday pulak tu…

And so sudden, kinda thinking bout sumbady…… dunno, people change rite, but use to be good fren, same school,sme course, kmpung pon sme…….. but duno y, witout any reason, it feels like we r part.


Yes, aku dpt jeans bru…saper blnjer?? Diriku sendiri..sdn bhd… haha, I went for lunch at LOT 10 just now, so amik ksmpatan to shop since I really want a nu pair of jeans so bad and finally I manage to get one… ahaks, it turn out I bought a shirt also instead of buying a jeans only… huhu… im so happy… snggup aku meredah pana tgari smata2 nk dptkan jeans..haha… yeye.. nu jeans….

Aku rasa pas ni da xsmpat nk taip g… bz pas ni… so I guess better stop ere for today… will keep in touch with yall later. Mcm r ader org bce blog aku… huhu…

Have a nice day ahead.

Today is 6th NOVEMBER

(8.00 a.m.)

Hola…good morning… waaa.. tepat2 pkol 8 pg nie… bukan pe…dalam bz cr blog page yg seswai to aku join, aku rase bek aku menaip share dgn korang.. tp sbnarnyer, ntah bled pt nk share ngan kamu smue pon xtaw.. bukan pe, stkat ni da ader 2 blog..tp x active.. n so sudden, aku tpkir lak, wat per susah2 nk cr blog len, gune jer yg ader,tp buat r pe2 yg ptot..aku da busan r dok mncari…

(8.55 a.m)

Aper aku nk buat.. Cm ner?.. I will jot down anything dat I wanna say if I have time… kire mcm time chronology r… ader je luang, aku drop by…tgok jer time, korang taw r.. aper aku n share ek, actually yesterday, one of my ex-teacher passed away.. it was so sudden, but lotsa things happened la.. smua urusan mudah, ramai yg menyumbang tnaga.. xsmpai 4 jam, jenazah siap dikafankan n dsolatkan.. trus di escort balik ke kampong… tp yg buat aku sdey n rasa mcm bsykur sgt my mom is a working lady is : my teacher’s wife is a housewife, no job n they have around 7 kids. The eldest is only 18… imagine? Cik Jun, I pray for your life and kid’s life, hoping that everything will be easy for you n tabahkan hati…

Enough bout dat…. Dis morn aku bru dpt tasks bru, mcm best jer, aku kne incharge tok handle company’s day out..ting2!! ape aku nk buat, aku nk buat movie day… aku choose venue, ako choose movie, g tgok reramai.. actually last week pon da day put, all of us g eat kat JOGOYA, was like hell fun, almaklum r, free ma… makan selagi mampu..huhu…. later aku upload pics k…later tux taw r bile… will let yall noe…

(1.00 pm)

This morning, kt dalam paper jumper MC D pnyer flyers, da niat dlm ati xnk bli..tp aleh2 dk ofis pakat order, so pe g, aku yang angaukan mc’d ni, pminat setia tahap gaban, pon order la…...hahaha ni tgah ngadapla ni…sodap bonar… hidop big mac!!

Burp!!..kenyang da..wawa..last nite blsah mc’d, today oso mc,d..later muka jd cam Ronald mc’d..huhu.. glung tikar r si mr Ronald, gnti mascot bru, mizz nissa…

Pe nak story ek, xtually ngah lunch break ni.. is it raining outside coz its really damn cold inside,plus the aircond, mang rase mcm mandi dgn ais batu…sjuk gle woo..today aku xdak mud..tomorrow da Friday, my bobo will b back from bangi..huhu… nk chat bebanyak ngan die..msti best…

Adoyai, bru jap td tnye ujan ke kat luar,pandang blakang xpon ujaqn, tp ni aku pandang g skali da lebat xingta..musim ujan dtg blik.jap je cerah kat kl ni,xthn lme..ujan je..nk bsoh bju pon kne pk 13.78 kali..bercinte…

K r… nk continue keje..daaa…..

im back!! with tonnes of question marks ??????

4th nov ( 5.45 pm)

Hola… amek time sket.. aku da xkire da kali ni… aku tetap nk buat gak… da byk kali aku buat cubaan tp tetap gagal… hangat2 chicken sh** jer…but now I am really srious.. bukan pe yall, keje buat kite tnsion, so nk xnk,kne r share… suke ati korang nk bce o x… tp kalo korg tau I ckp ni, surely korang read my blog…ahaks….

Bru bis meeting ni, sales meeting, now ni I nk buat resume lak…huhu…...

till then, have a nice day ahead..